Walmart Denies Woman of Her God-Given Right to Drink Wine Out of a Pringles Can

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New York Post –  A Texas woman has been banned from Walmart — for riding around the parking lot of their Wichita Falls store in an electric shopping cart while drinking wine from a Pringles can.

The unidentified woman was first spotted around 6:30 a.m. Friday, and workers finally called the cops on her around 9 a.m., The Times-Record reported.

I’m sorry, I thought this was America?

Listen, I’m not here to say that drinking wine out of a Pringles container is ever the “right” thing do. In almost all cases, it’s most certainly not. But, clearly when you’re in your local Walmart there are just different rules that apply compared to everyday life and ESPECIALLY other supermarkets.

Soccer-mom Suzanne is zipping through her local Whole Foods doing this? Fine – that’s disturbing and she probably deserves a life-sentence in jail.

But a WALMART in TEXAS? Look, if we strip away these rights here, there’s simply no where else to go in order to drink out of a potato chip container.

Walmart locations are basically a vortex into another world where groceries are insanely low-priced and societal norms don’t exist. So, to see this woman singled out for trying to have a good time on an electric shopping cart with a nice full-bodied red at 6:30AM – on a Friday! – is just a shame. If anything, we can applaud her for breaking some new ground by forgoing a flask and mixing the aroma and taste of Pringles (hopefully Cheddar and Sour Cream) with some wine.

Maybe you want to point to the fact that she was in the store for nearly two and a half hours as well? Okay, well you can’t just breeze through your shopping list and risk having to return to the store. She even got up early and hopped on a scooter to make sure she was getting it all done as efficiently as possible. Looks like being thorough is now considered a crime too.

You just have to be hopeful this woman isn’t facing a lengthy ban in this situation. To take away a passion like this permanently would be the real crime.

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